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This past year has brought many big changes to our family. We moved from mobile Alabama to Nashville Tennessee in June. We are back in the church world and doing life with amazing friends that feel like family. I am staying home with Isaiah and the twins and losing my mind!!!. Isaiah is being home-schooled this year. He has been diagnosed with Aspergers. It is an autism spectrum disorder. He is high functioning however he struggles to understand and comprehend the same way as you and I do. He is a bright boy and I am sure will doing amazing things in life. Ashlyn is 7 and doing great in public school. She has a best friend and is loving life. The twins are 2 and kicking my butt daily and keeping score!

I started blogging several times and quit several times!!! I think I just needed to find the place where God was calling me to be.
I am going to be very honest and straight forward. I am overwhelmed by this life that God has allowed me to have. I go through the day thinking I can’t be the only mother that wants a long vacation by herself sitting on the beach sipping a drink. Our pastor preached an amazing message this past Sunday and it hit me square in the jaw. He was talking about fear crippling who and what God has called us to be and do. He was talking about community and how we were never meant to do this life alone. I am horrible at asking for help or showing weakness. Most of the time I laugh and joke about what I am really feeling while dying on the inside. I am writing this blog in hopes of connecting with other mothers who feel overwhelmed and are in need of friends who understand and are not afraid to put it all out there. I want to share my life with you and hope that you would share yours with me. I believe that we can learn from each other and hold each others hands up when we just can’t seem to do it by ourselves anymore. I am blessed with a great husband and four wonderful kids but I sometimes get tired. Does anyone else ever feel tired and worn down by your day to day routine? Does anyone have any fun and creative ways to spruce up life during these gloomy cold winter days?

I wanted to include a great link for more information on Aspergers for those interested



  1. Can’t wait for some time with you tonight. Away from the chaos. I mean, I love your chaos but am excited to have just you.

  2. I find that swimming and baking are rainy day lifesavers.

  3. parenting is so full of fear for me. i think my biggest fear is that i’ll do something that will lead to regret… miss an opportunity i can’t get back, screw up in a way that forever alters my children… it’s a scary job.

    love the honest and straight forward you! πŸ™‚

    and i think parenting in the winter is the hardest time of year. gray and gloomy!

  4. My son Elijah has PDD, which is on the other end of the autism spectrum, but I’m sure we’ve had similar experiences when it comes to our children. If you or your husband ever need to vent to someone who would understand your struggles dealing with Aspergers feel free to contact me or my wife Amy any time.

  5. Oh I so remember those feelings! I am further ahead of you on the journey, but I remember the feeling o got when I could finally breathe and the kids went to school. I also remember the corresponding claustrophobia when they came home again a year later due to learning disabilities for one and OCD issues for the other. They stayed home with me for the next ELEVEN YEARS! and somehow, moment by moment–whether excruciatingly wonderful or excruciatingly torturous — we survived. You will, too. And here is my wisest advice after eleven years of mayhem:

    Every February, without fail, I walked out on my duties and wanted to quit. So I did. I would refuse to teach, didn’t clean, didn’t care. My wise husband knew it was coming and let me. Usually in less than a week I was rested and recovered enough to pick up the load for another day, or two, or weeks, until we flew towards May. The days go slow, but the years go fast.

    So quit. I give you permission. They turned into pretty amazing kids and so will yours.

    Prayers are with you!

    • Thank you so very very much!! Your words of wisdom are truly water to my weary sole.

  6. I was in Nashville this weekend and listened to this message. I live in Colorado and would love to get to know you and “do” life with you! I totally feel the same way as you and think we put up a great front and never let anyone know how much being a mom is draining. I am a wife and mother of 2 boys one with food allergies.

  7. Jaclyn,

    Please know that you are not alone, even though you might be by yourself (with kids) for the majority of the hours of your days. There are stay-at-home moms, homeschooling moms, and work-from-home moms all around the country who feel these same emotions…who can identify with you and support you.

    I live way up in Lafayette, IN. Otherwise, I’d be thrilled to come and do life with you once a week or so. Instead, be sure that I’m praying for you, specifically praying that God will surround you with community in a way that blows your mind. πŸ™‚

  8. I get overwhelmed a lot. I have 3 kids, 6yr old girl, 5 yr old boy, 3 yr old boy. My oldest is in 1st grade in public school and is doing great. My middle son is currently in pre-kindergarten and my doctor has suggested we learn about Pervasive Development Disorder (on the Aspergers spectrum). He’s incredibly smart & intuitive, but he does have a speech delay. My youngest is ALL BOY and by that I mean enough boy for 3 kids. I stay home with them, I have since my daughter was born, and while I absolutely love being home with them, I can definitely relate.

    I love the physical touch, hugs kisses, playing with the kids as much as every mom, but sometimes there are moments where I just want to be as far away from everything as possible. Like on your beach!

    My husband is a pastor although not currently serving a church right now. His undergraduate degree is in economics and he’s currently in a job he enjoys related to his field. I’m thankful for a job he enjoys. Its stressful sometimes, but every job is stressful, including parenting.

    Anyway…I found your post from Lindsey’s tweet and had to add a short note before heading out to pick up kids then coming home to start dinner.

    Wishing you a calm evening with a mild to moderate noise level and a wonderfully quiet and restful evening after bedtime. πŸ™‚

  9. Jackie,
    You are one of the most beautiful, amazing people I know! I appreciate your honesty and straightforwardness.
    I get overwhelmed with life, family, ministry etc… also, but recently got a different perspective. My husband was preaching a powerful message on grace- God’s ability in you that allows you to do what you can’t do by yourself. It literally changed my life.
    It says in the Word by grace are we saved through faith. It stands to reason then that if the way we got into this thing was through His grace, that the way we hold on til the end is through His grace. There is a supply of God’s grace for any situation, we just have to access it through believing. I realized that I can’t be the wife, mother, pastor, administrator, etc… I need to be without God’s grace. So I quit.
    One day I just gave it up and asked God for His grace to handle even the day to day details of my life. I found that when I asked, He gave it to me.That’s not to say that I don’t have the stresses any more (because I very much do) but I am learning to call upon the Grace of God on a daily basis, and it has changed the way I view things. Instead of freaking out, I just take a deep breath and cast my care. (And yes it’s very difficult not to pick it back up)

    You are going to find a wonderful community to support, strengthen and encourage you, but I also pray that you find a place in God’s presence that brings peace to your soul.

    Love you!

  10. i’m not a mom [yet] – but i’m currently in the adoption process with my husband. scared spitless and feeling overwhelmed with what God’s been bringing to the surface since we said “yes” – so i understand. thanks for the authenticity.

  11. You are definitely NOT alone in feeling the way you do! I have been so encouraged since I joined the Mom’s Group at Crosspoint’s Nashville campus. We’d love to have you! Wednesday mornings at 9:30. At least two mothers there have children on the spectrum. Email me if you’d line more info! I’m not the leader but I can get you in touch with her. πŸ™‚

  12. Hi Jaclyn, Just a note to introduce, a ministry to families living with “hidden disabilities” like Asperger, high-functioning Autism, ADHD, bipolar and other neurological differences. We are working to help connect families raising special kids and help churches know how to minister to them (us.) Hope you will stop by to visit.



  13. Im Not a mom yet. But I feel the same way in my season of life right now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I hope to be a stay at home mom someday and I guess it’s good to know its not a cake walk either.I’m praying for you!… Now lets set a date to hang out πŸ™‚ I would even love to hang with you and the kids. πŸ™‚

  14. you are not alone. i’m not a mother and my “drowning” situations look very different, but i feel very much the same as you.

    i’m REALLY looking forward to tonight.

  15. My husband suggested I read this blog because he thought I would relate. He was right! We go to crosspoint Bellevue. My husband works/voulunteers with yours in media/directing.

    We are a blended family and have 3 children Boy 15, Boy 11, Girl 8. My oldest, our middle child has severe ADD. He too is very bright and talented,but honestly just wears me out. I can’t seem to relax. I fear for my children’s future, especially his.Social interation is sooo tough and draining.

    Since I married in April 2007 and moved to Nashville,it has been hard to truly connect, especially with families because people just don’t get kids with disabilities. I am tired, very tired. I feel like a robot whose circuit board is worn out. The winter is the worst.Less Sunshine =less of the happy hormone.

    I have lots of fun ideas,just looking for the right people for God to truly connect me with. Any time you want to have a girl weekend at the beach or just go out for a drink. Give me a call. I’m in! Love to get to know you better.

  16. I have so been in your shoes. I have three boys and my oldest has Aspergers. He is 16 now and I tell you I have spent many of his young days in a self-imposed time out while locked in the bathroom and my aspie screaming and banging on the door. More days than not I just knew I would go crazy.

    Life is much easier now that he is older. The overwhelming part gets better.

    My saving grace, I go camping by myself for one week every summer. I eat when I want. I sleep when I want. Nobody else to worry about. I highly reccomend getting away regularly and spend a little time nurturing yourself. Hang in there!

    • Thank you so much for your words of encouragment. I just spent a week in California with just my husband and I do feel like a new woman!!

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