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Tag Archives: twins

This past year has brought many big changes to our family. We moved from mobile Alabama to Nashville Tennessee in June. We are back in the church world and doing life with amazing friends that feel like family. I am staying home with Isaiah and the twins and losing my mind!!!. Isaiah is being home-schooled this year. He has been diagnosed with Aspergers. It is an autism spectrum disorder. He is high functioning however he struggles to understand and comprehend the same way as you and I do. He is a bright boy and I am sure will doing amazing things in life. Ashlyn is 7 and doing great in public school. She has a best friend and is loving life. The twins are 2 and kicking my butt daily and keeping score!

I started blogging several times and quit several times!!! I think I just needed to find the place where God was calling me to be.
I am going to be very honest and straight forward. I am overwhelmed by this life that God has allowed me to have. I go through the day thinking I can’t be the only mother that wants a long vacation by herself sitting on the beach sipping a drink. Our pastor preached an amazing message this past Sunday and it hit me square in the jaw. He was talking about fear crippling who and what God has called us to be and do. He was talking about community and how we were never meant to do this life alone. I am horrible at asking for help or showing weakness. Most of the time I laugh and joke about what I am really feeling while dying on the inside. I am writing this blog in hopes of connecting with other mothers who feel overwhelmed and are in need of friends who understand and are not afraid to put it all out there. I want to share my life with you and hope that you would share yours with me. I believe that we can learn from each other and hold each others hands up when we just can’t seem to do it by ourselves anymore. I am blessed with a great husband and four wonderful kids but I sometimes get tired. Does anyone else ever feel tired and worn down by your day to day routine? Does anyone have any fun and creative ways to spruce up life during these gloomy cold winter days?

I wanted to include a great link for more information on Aspergers for those interested

http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/

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Last night I was frustrated and I mean like hair standing straight out on it’s ends frustrated.

I made a nice meal and placed it in front of the twins who in turn took a couple bites and told me they were done. They then proceeded to rub their spaghetti all over themselves and then they started to fling it at one another. ( Somebody please call nanny 911!)Don’t they understand the effort it takes to make a nice meal or the cost for that matter. Of course they don’t they are just babies. As I was getting the twins into the bath I started thinking about all the messes we as adults get ourselves into and how much more frustrated with us God must get because it’s not just a simple dinner mess it’s our lives.

I held the thought for a bit and contemplated it in my mind. Why do we get ourselves into so many messes as adults. My children do it because they are exploring the world around them and they are testing limits. Sometimes this is the case with adults as well. I think that the messes come from a place of worry and fear as we get older. We worry about the future and we have a hard time with faith so we begin to take matters into our own hands and the fear of letting go and letting God have control is just to much of a risk. I could just picture God setting a table with everything just so and then all of a sudden we take what he made us and try to fling it around and make it stick in the world we created for ourselves aside from Him.

I know this may seem like a heavy matter over some spilled spaghetti. I guess this is how God deals with me in this stage of my life. My life is filled to the brim with kids and responsibilities but I have to say that I do continue to pray and seek God through out my day and sometimes it’s in these crazy moments I see a picture in my mind such as this one above. So my question for you today is do you tend to worry and fear the future or do you try to let go and let God direct your steps?